Combating Selfishness...Advice Welcome

I will begin by stating that I am fully aware of the fact that I work with children and that many children have difficulties with grasping the concept of sharing and accepting that they can't always have what they want. Nevertheless, I am experiencing a situation with a student this year that takes selfishness to a whole new level, and it seems as the word "No" was not used very often with her during those oh-so-precious years of development. Don't get me wrong, I have seen this girl be very caring towards fellow classmates as they have expressed moments of sadness, but I would also be foolish to not identify the fact that she has been the cause of many moments of sadness on an almost daily basis. This is a point of frustration for me, and so I'm reaching out for some help. Advice is very welcome (but to save some trouble, I should mention that her parents and I keep in contact when issues arise).

  • What thoughts do you have on breaking a cycle of lying ("It wasn't me" or "I didn't do it" will be her high school yearbook quote) that is pretty much always her immediate reaction? This student is already fully aware of the fact that she has lost my trust due to previous issues. I am almost to the point of saying to her that if any of her classmates come to me with something that she did, then I will believe what they have to say over any response she has. I want to give students the benefit of the doubt, but it is hard to do in this case.
  • What thoughts do you have on breaking a cycle of vindictiveness when the student does not get her way? There have been clear cases of her not getting what she wanted and being hurtful to her classmates in response. 
  • How do I help her to see that she is going to alienate her classmates and friends with this consistent behavior? 3rd graders can be very forgiving towards each other (or perhaps just incredibly forgetful...) But there will come a point when they will not be so forgiving, and I worry that it will result in her lashing out and blaming everyone else.
Please feel free to comment back. I welcome any thoughts.

Mindfulness thought for the week: Worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles. It takes away today's peace.

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